Desires of our heart

hello friends.

I have to get up pretty early every other week to bring my oldest to his bus stop. He goes to school in another town and thankfully they have a drop off, so i don't have to drive him the whole way there. this week was a trial. i didn't want to get up, i didn't want to go out in the chilly air, and i felt the unfairness of it all. one thing about these trips is the quietness that i get to spend with God. this morning he started  speaking to me about the desires of our hearts. as i was complaining god started to remind me about thankfulness. and to be completely honest sometimes I struggle with it and can't come up with anything. so one that i always fall back on, to get started is thankfulness i have a car that works. and this particular car was actually given to us at a time of need, by a sweet SINGLE mother. thankfulness. 

I had a friend who biked for 5 years everywhere or relied on the city busses. my brother also had to bike for about a year. thankfulness. how does this play into the desires of our heart. well as i started to be thankful god started speak. my photography business is growing and i am so utterly thankful for god using me.(thankfulness). and this had me looking back. one time  i remember before i even knew the lord. i had told someone that i could live in a shack and be poor if only there was love in that home. isn't god funny in his ways:) as we over the last couple of years struggled financially god would remind me of that. it never took hold and frankly i was like and?? but today god showed me that when i said those words i really meant it with my heart and those desires came true out of our struggles. as i am learning to be content in all things. i am learning that the desires of our hearts don't always come in a little neat package ready to serve when we want. it comes out of thankfulness and persevering in the hard times. so god may use us and mold us more like him. as i walk this journey...god and i become closer. as i open my hands and my HEART to him. he knows better than i do. he knows the plan. all i have to do is give him it and he turns it around for good. i never thought that this is where i would be. but as i look back this is exactly where i have been wanting to be. does that make sense? in the times when my marriage is rocky, in the times when my kids say or do something that i feel reflects my failure as a parent, in the times when difficulty comes and i want to run opposite of god, and in the times when gods plan doesn't look like my own. i used to dig my heels in, at what god wanted me to do. now i am wanting to leap into it:) thankfulness in the rough times is the hardest but it's the most fulfilling and i believe  that it gives god so much joy. the ultimate gift is the gift of eternal life with him. and i am so thankful for that. while life happens we sometimes forget that promise and act as if this is our forever home and cling to the things of this world. so god challenged me, let go daughter and let me. what are you clinging to today? what is god asking you to let go of and let him handle it? he knows the desires you have and his promise is DELIGHT in him and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4. DELIGHT- hebrew meaning:  chamad khaw-mad'- beauty, greatly loved, covet, delectable thing, delight, desire, goodly, lust, pleasant (thing), precious (thing).  

  

  so let's choose to delight  in him. let's become thankful and loosen our grip today on things that we are clinging too. just a raw moment i wanted to share:) have a great day friends!